A very unrealistic expectation only because I cannot demand such from myself. Our innate needs cannot be controlled by a switch ... or by sunrise/sunset. There are times during the day when I would want to look into my lover's eyes and see the Beast glaring back at me -- full of primal hunger for my flesh. Just as there are times at night, when I shiver with the need to be held tenderly and lovingly in his arms while I weep for no reason. I suppose it is all about finding balance ... finding it within ourselves and then finding it once again with another. Some of us are doomed to always stumble in a tilted world.
I don't know why I find it such a challenge NOT to water myself down. Granted I love the ocean, but it doesn't mean I have to drown the parts of me that can be intimidating, or exhilarating. And so this is my new goal ... to make this a space that allows me to follow my "most intense obsessions mercilessly".